Johnathan Walker
Caldari
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Posted - 2011.06.23 09:58:00 -
[1]
Let's see... emo time.
I quit because I have this tshirt: "I wished for something good in Incarna, and all I got was this crappy T-shirt".
I quit on holding out naive hope that someone at CCP has half a brain left. I knew they were zombies all along, and Incarna proves that the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide was a good buy; theyyyyy'reeee heeeeereeee!
I certainly cease investing any interest in the game, relegating my time to a mindless bot to mine ice. Well, not really, because I quit writing that program out of disinterest in Eve.
I'm done sifting through "EveLOLpedia" articles, a mess of a monkey's attempt at 'documentation'. Even CCP staff can't get it right with simply things like "Step Foot Into Captain's Quarters"; literacy 101: "Step In", or "Set Foot". But Aura doesn't teach that in Advanced Wtfology 306.
I'm done playing "DarkSpace Online", waiting ten minutes for combat to load only to blink my eyes thrice and find myself back "home", my virtual existence terminated in an automated string of 1's and 0's. Wile E. Coyote comes to mind... Made by ACME = Made by CCP. At least Wile E's rockets actually worked, sort of...
I'm tired of the "us versus them" battle, the politics, and the illusion of grandiose things to come. I would be better off in a blood bank having my blood sucked out of me than my wallet being pillaged dry for nothing in return. At least those prices are stable, and I'm never disappointed in the end as I always get a cookie and juice box.
In the interests of rising oceans, I quit so my carebear tears will stop flooding low-lying areas and causing lulz-induced hypoxia (the latter also the cause of sudden laugh-fart-belch syndrome).
I can harvest gas by chewing cabbage daily, and I'm sure my partner will enjoy "wormhole exploration" tonight. Certainly no m"ass" limits there...
I'll take my chances with the DEA and running drugs and exotic dancers across the border; at least there I have a chance to get away or die in a spectacular shoot-out. God forbid if the Fed were chasing a fugitive, only to be held up by a sudden wall on which it is written: "Session Change...".
And I quit to join the real navy, where capital ships are used sparingly and with care to change the tide of war and not as the latest in an ever-escalating representation of the perceived size of one's electronic "peen". Nice carrier... oh wait, that's 01100011011000010111001001110010011010010110010101110010. Shiny, isn't it? (if you translated that in your head to the actual word, please seek professional help!).
And finally, I quit because then I can have all those shinies from Krelian, which I can then use to post "I am quitting eve" messages in Jita local and for once, not have it be a scam. That would really shake the Jovians out of hiding... a disturbance on Tranquility, ironic isn't it? (Force reference here, work with me people).
Oh and I quit because damnit, I wanted my dancing-monkey at my side walking around in station. Alas, ChimChim is still a fantasy. Le sigh.
YARAARGH! 
Warmly,
"The Bear" JW 
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